Hope's Story
A Voice of Hope in the face of suicide
Our Hope
Hope, who loves to write, who loves to draw and paint, who loves her dog, Revie, and her turtles, Skirt and Sheldon, is a forever beautiful 17-year-old.
On January 29, 2020, Jesus received Hope home after her earthy battle with suicide. Hope loved Jesus and she loved people, but the battle for her mind was fought in silence, and the silence was Satan's weapon of choice to take her into hopelessness, and eventually it took her life here on earth.
January 29th, 2020
On January 29th, 2020, our world came to a screeching halt as our family of six shattered into a million pieces. Less than an hour after a small argument in the car about her safety at work, she was gone. One impulsive, irrational decision later, her life on earth was over and ours would never be the same. Although we were aware Hope suffered with low self-image and self-esteem, we never knew she suffered with suicidal thoughts and would never imagine finding our joyful, fun to be around, Jesus-loving daughter, dead by her choosing.
On January 29, 2020, Jesus received Hope home after her earthy battle with suicide. Hope loved Jesus and she loved people, but the battle for her mind was fought in silence, and the silence was Satan's weapon of choice to take her into hopelessness, and eventually it took her life here on earth.
January 29th, 2020
On January 29th, 2020, our world came to a screeching halt as our family of six shattered into a million pieces. Less than an hour after a small argument in the car about her safety at work, she was gone. One impulsive, irrational decision later, her life on earth was over and ours would never be the same. Although we were aware Hope suffered with low self-image and self-esteem, we never knew she suffered with suicidal thoughts and would never imagine finding our joyful, fun to be around, Jesus-loving daughter, dead by her choosing.
Hope's Story
Most would not have imagined Hope ever battling in the mind with self-hate and low self-esteem. She hid it well behind many walls of protection. As her family, we knew her struggle with self-esteem, but we had no idea just how bad she struggled internally. Hope was very engaged in our church youth group. She was loved by so many and had many friends (more than she ever realized).
She had a genuine relationship with Jesus. Yes, she heard the voice of God. But as true with us all, she too heard the voice of Satan. Satan preyed on her low self-esteem. He used everything he could to attack her weakness, like he does all of us. Because of her own insecurities, Hope often felt offended, hurt, and rejected. Feeling unable to express those feelings, she often exploded at the littlest of things.
She began to believe that everyone thought about her the same way she thought of herself. This brought turmoil and tension in many of her friendships and family relationships, which only fueled rejection and loneliness.
Hope’s struggle with low self-esteem is not unusual or rare. Thousands of youth and young adults struggle in silence, and in the silence is where Satan is empowered. Hope’s story lives in the eyes and hearts of countless that feel shame and condemnation for feeling and thinking such things as “self-harm” as believers of Jesus. Satan lies to us all; the mind is the true battlefield of any Christian. It is not the lie that defeated our Hope on this earth, it was her inability to cast down the lie and not allow it to become truth to her. Once the lie became her truth, it created a stronghold, shifting her reality and hijacking her decisions and her perspective on life. She kept this torment of the mind silent for anyone who could have helped.
She had a genuine relationship with Jesus. Yes, she heard the voice of God. But as true with us all, she too heard the voice of Satan. Satan preyed on her low self-esteem. He used everything he could to attack her weakness, like he does all of us. Because of her own insecurities, Hope often felt offended, hurt, and rejected. Feeling unable to express those feelings, she often exploded at the littlest of things.
She began to believe that everyone thought about her the same way she thought of herself. This brought turmoil and tension in many of her friendships and family relationships, which only fueled rejection and loneliness.
Hope’s struggle with low self-esteem is not unusual or rare. Thousands of youth and young adults struggle in silence, and in the silence is where Satan is empowered. Hope’s story lives in the eyes and hearts of countless that feel shame and condemnation for feeling and thinking such things as “self-harm” as believers of Jesus. Satan lies to us all; the mind is the true battlefield of any Christian. It is not the lie that defeated our Hope on this earth, it was her inability to cast down the lie and not allow it to become truth to her. Once the lie became her truth, it created a stronghold, shifting her reality and hijacking her decisions and her perspective on life. She kept this torment of the mind silent for anyone who could have helped.
There is Hope
After many months of shock wore off I was desperate to find the "whys" in her own personal journals. But the Father gave me something much greater within the pages of her penned heart, I found hope again. Although in a few journal entries, Hope expressed her struggle with relationships and loneliness, what I found most was hope. Yes, hope! The pages of Hope’s journals are full of poems, letters, songs, scriptures, and drawings that reveal words of truth, encouragement, and hope from the Father. This made my heart burst with joy to see her true identity manifested on the countless pages of her journals left as a seed of hope for her family and her generation. Satan might of gotten to her mind, but her heart was the Lord's. Hope was and still is called to be hope to the hopeless, and although my heart breaks to never get the chance to see her calling manifest on earth, I believe the seeds of hope she left behind will impact, deliver, and heal her generation of hopelessness. She will be a voice of hope to the hopeless. Depositing these seeds of hope to her generation has now become my ministry, coupled with sharing my journey of healing to those who have went through life changing trauma's and death's of children.
This is our There is Hope Initiative.
This is our There is Hope Initiative.
